


Mirror Image

by Sixylicious



Series: Halla, Hawk, and Fox [10]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age II
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-09-01
Packaged: 2018-04-14 16:36:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,526
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4571772
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sixylicious/pseuds/Sixylicious
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Valythari discovers the project that drove Merrill from the clan, the eluvian that tore Tamlen away from her and changed her life forever. How would she react?</p><p>A retelling of Merrill's Act 2 companion quest and the aftermath, with my Mahariel and Zevran written in.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Valythari spent most of her time with Merrill now, sharing further stories of her journey and catching up with her old friend. Merrill was still hesitant to let her go into the back room, though, and the Warden couldn't figure out why.

Seren knocked on the door and then entered, Anders trailing behind her. It had been two weeks now since her night with Fenris and none of them had seen the lyrium lined elf since. Anders wasn't leaving her side, knowing he was quite likely what was keeping her together. Now Merrill wanted Hawke's help with something, and although the healer wasn't fond of the Dalish blood mage, he had insisted on coming. It was a surprise to both when Valythari was there as well.

"You wanted to ask me something, Merrill?" Seren asked.

Merrill nodded. "I was hoping you would come with me to Sundermount... I need to talk to the Keeper."

Seren nodded understandingly. "About the--?"

"Lethallan, can I come?" Valythari asked, the Elvhen word slipping from her automatically. Perhaps Hawke would overlook it.

Merrill seemed hesitant at first, but the knowledge that her friend hadn't seen their clan in even longer than she had made the decision for her. "Of course... I guess I need to show you something first though."

She approached the back room, Valythari following automatically. When the eluvian came into view, it was like the breath had been pulled from Valythari's lungs. Hawke and Anders watched as she approached it, her expression utterly unreadable. Merrill shifted, uncomfortable, the atmosphere of the room growing tense.

"Lethallan," Valythari breathed. "This... why?"

"It's our heritage, Valythari. A Keeper's job is to remember. I wanted to rebuild it and maybe I can use it to find out what we've lost," Merrill explained, her voice shaking a bit.

"Rebuild it?" Valythari questioned. Now that her clanmate had mentioned it, something about the eluvian felt oddly familiar, nostalgic. "Is this...?"

"I kept a piece of the one you and Tamlen found," Merrill admitted.

"But the taint?" Valythari was almost frantic at that, leaving Seren bewildered and Anders slowly beginning to fill in the blanks. She'd never spoken to any of them about how she had become a warden, save perhaps Velanna, but the Dalish mage had never told. Could this mirror be the key?

"I cleansed it, it's safe. I promise."

Anders was unable to help a scowl. Valythari turned toward him, her expression questioning. "What, Anders?"

"She didn't tell you that she learned blood magic to do that," he responded.

"Lethallan?" Valythari turned back to Merrill, waiting, her expression neutral.

Merrill averted her gaze. She couldn't begin to guess Valythari's opinion on blood magic after having spent so much time among the shemlen. Would she be accepting or would she hate her for her choice, just like the rest of their clan? "It's true."

"Duncan said these were Tevinter in origin," Valythari mused, approaching the eluvian now and lightly resting a hand on the glass. It was inert, still, not like the one that used to haunt her dreams. "But they're Elvhen..." She smiled sadly. "It all makes sense now. 'Ma'sa'lath knew all along. The Keeper doesn't want you doing this?"

"She says it's dangerous. I had to leave the clan to be able to continue, but I'm stuck now. I need the arulin'holm," Merrill finished. "But the Keeper likely won't give it to me."

"I'm coming with you. She'll give it to me," Valythari said, her eyes flashing with a spark Anders knew quite well.

"You're Dalish, Valythari?" Seren asked. "But you don't have the markings."

Valythari glanced over at the mage, her expression unreadable once again. "It's a long story."

\-----

Two elves and two humans approached the foot of Sundermount and the entrance to the Dalish camp. Finally, Valythari paused and lifted her canteen, splashing a little water into her hands. She wiped her hands across her face, revealing her vallaslin. Hawke watched, intrigued. Why had she hidden the markings in the first place? Merrill had always said that their vallaslin were a point of pride for Dalish elves. She had met Valythari a month ago and the elf only grew more mysterious.

Marethari greeted them at the entrance to the camp. "Andaran atish'an, Hawke."

Valythari stepped forward, allowing a small smile to cross her face. "En'an'sal'en, Keeper. It's been far too long."

"Valythari," the Keeper gasped. "Ashalle said you had decided to stay in Ferelden, what brings you here?"

"It's been four years, why wouldn't I want to come home?" Valythari asked. "But we aren't here about me. Keeper, Merrill needs the arulin'holm."

Marethari's expression hardened. "You should want that mirror to remain broken more than all of us. Why are you helping her, da'len?"

Merrill looked as if she wanted to speak up, but Valythari spoke first. "I am no longer the child who left with Duncan. The eluvian is our history, it's our responsibility to reclaim it."

"And you believe she's cleansed it?" Marethari asked.

"I sense nothing, it no longer bears the taint," Valythari answered, her voice firm.

Marethari sighed and shook her head. "I cannot let you do this, either of you. What of everyone we've lost to it? Valythari, what of Tamlen?" It was a low blow and the Keeper knew that, but she had to make them see.

"Because, Keeper, reclaiming it is what he would have wanted," Valythari said. Merrill was stunned. Of all the reactions she had anticipated Valythari having to the eluvian, this was far from what she had expected. "The only reason we went into those ruins was to search for pieces of our history, you know that. I didn't lose 'ma'sa'lath to have you deny our people what he died for. Give us the arulin'holm."

"Valythari, please," the Keeper begged. "You must see reason, both of you!"

"No," she retorted. Despite her best efforts, hints of anger were beginning to seep into her voice. "You must see reason. Merrill has made the eluvian safe so no one else will have to go through what I did. Tamlen would be proud that she is doing this. I knew him better than anyone else. I know he would want it rebuilt."

"Please, Keeper," Merrill said.

At last, Marethari gave in. Valythari had always been stubborn, just like her father. It seemed that her experiences with the shemlen during the Blight had only strengthened that. Arguing would not change her mind, but perhaps her task would convince them to give up. "Very well. I will give you the arulin'holm if you perform a task for me first. There is a varterral living in a cave nearby... It has grown hostile. Kill it so it cannot harm any more of us and I will give you the arulin'holm."

\-----

The fight with the varterral was difficult, but eventually they managed to bring it down. Valythari gathered the amulets of each of the fallen hunters to bring back to Keeper Marethari, knowing their families would want them returned. Something was very wrong here, she could tell. Merrill stood over Pol's body, tears flowing down her face.

"Lethallan, why did he run from me?" she sobbed. "He was more afraid of me than of the varterral."

Hawke and Anders watched as Valythari tried her best to console her clan mate. "I don't know, Merrill... We'll ask the Keeper when we get back." 

The answer was not something either of them wanted to hear.

"You did what?" Merrill asked. She could nearly feel her heart breaking, tears welling up in her eyes again. What had happened to the kindly Keeper who had raised her, the one who had been like a mother to her? This betrayal hurt more than the wounds she had gained fighting the varterral.

"I am their Keeper, da'len. It is my responsibility to warn them," Marethari said. She was calm, though her eyes showed sorrow.

"So you told them she might return bearing the taint?" Valythari asked, her tone scathing. "You made the clan fear her so much that Pol would run right into the varterral rather than let us save him! What's the difference between how Merrill cleansed the eluvian and how you kept me alive until I could leave with Duncan? Tell me that."

"I was saving your life, you know that," the Keeper snapped.

"And Merrill is trying to save a fragment of our past. You would condemn her for that when you used the same magic on me?"

Anders stepped up to Valythari and rested a hand on her shoulder. Things were getting out of hand. "Val. Stop."

"Ma banal las halamshir var vhen," Valythari spat before she pulled away from Anders and stormed out of the camp. Merrill followed her, the tears beginning to flow from her eyes.

Marethari sighed and turned to Hawke, pulling a long dagger from her belt. "I will not go back on my word. I trust you with the arulin'holm, Hawke. Please, do not let them do this."

Seren accepted the arulin'holm and placed it in her belt with a nod. She and Anders then followed Valythari and Merrill out of the camp and back to Kirkwall.

\-----

There was another face seated at the Hanged Man's bar when they returned from Sundermount, the arulin'holm now tucked safely into Merrill's satchel. Hawke had handed it over as soon as they had left the mountain. The newcomer, a bronze skinned elf with hair that shone like gold, was seated next to Isabela, chatting with the pirate queen in a language Hawke could not understand. Valythari, on the other hand, could, and as soon as she spotted the newcomer her face lit up and she went right to his side, her anger at Keeper Marethari forgotten. Anders watched, feeling a bit nostalgic. He'd never actually met Zevran, but he knew Valythari's lover from plenty of tales told over the hearth of Vigil's Keep. With the unbridled joy in her expression and the adoration in the newcomer's as he turned toward her, Anders knew this had to be him.

"Vhenan!" Valythari threw her arms around her lover in an embrace, holding him as close as she could.

Zevran laughed, the sound warm and bright, and rested his arms around her waist. "Amora," he purred. "Did you miss me?"

Now it was Valythari's turn to laugh. She nuzzled into his tattooed cheek, pressing a kiss to his lips as she pulled away. "Of course. Bela's kept me busy though. It turns out there are plenty of familiar faces here in Kirkwall."

"Oh?" Zevran asked, his gaze turning now to the group his lover had entered with. He recognized one immediately as Dalish, the other two as human mages. One of the humans looked almost familiar. They'd never met, but Valythari had told him tales of her time in Amaranthine enough for him to know who this man was. "You are Anders, yes?"

Anders smiled and gave a single nod. "Which makes you the infamous Zevran, I presume."

"Amora, I like this one," Zevran remarked, grinning playfully over at his lover. Even like this, her vallaslin hidden again once they had left Sundermount, she was beautiful. He adored her.

Valythari couldn't help a smile. "Vhenan, you like everyone," she teased. "Let me introduce you. This is Merrill, from my clan. I've mentioned her before to you. You know of Anders. And this is Hawke."

"Pleased to meet you," Zevran said, leaning over in a slight but still exaggerated bow. "I am Zevran Arainai. Perhaps you have heard of me?"

"Your accent," Hawke remarked, her gaze curious. "Antivan? And the name... are you with the Crows?"

"Many years ago in a different land, yes," Zevran responded. "But no longer. I serve only myself and mi amora now."

Valythari let out a laugh. "He neglects to mention that we've spent the past few years destroying the Crows from the inside."

"You must be a very accomplished assassin," Anders said, putting a bit of awe in his tone. Of course, he knew that already; it was simply an effort to keep Hawke from questioning until Valythari was ready to reveal her secrets. Seren was getting curious though, curious and suspicious. It was only a matter of time.

\-----

Soon enough the group retired upstairs to Valythari and now Zevran's room, where they could speak more comfortably and with more privacy. The reunited lovers sat on the bed, Valythari in Zevran's arms and a content smile on her face as she leaned back into his chest.

"How did you meet?" Seren asked. "All of you knew each other before Kirkwall somehow, right?"

Isabela grinned and nodded. "Many years ago, my late husband met his end by the dagger of a dashing Crow," she purred, resting her hand on Zevran's shoulder. "I'm still grateful to this day."

"And I will always be proud that I inspired the Queen of the Eastern Seas," Zevran added, his grin mirroring hers even as he trailed his fingers up and down his lover's arm.

"You know Valythari and I were raised in the same clan," Merrill said. "We were close friends, us and one other."

"We lived in Ferelden at that time, in the Brecilian Forest," Valythari added. "I spent most of my life there until a few years ago."

"Why did you leave?" Seren asked. "If you don't mind me asking."

"It's all part of a much longer story," Valythari murmured.

Zevran leaned over to kiss her. "You don't need to tell it if you don't want to, love."

She shrugged and returned the kiss. "I told you a dear friend and I were at Ostagar, Hawke... I left my clan afflicted with an... illness. Ostagar held the only cure."

Hawke began to connect the dots, ever so slowly. "The taint? The Grey Wardens were at Ostagar."

Valythari nodded. "Merrill built her eluvian from a piece of the one 'ma'sa'lath and I found. It had been tainted, he accidentally unleashed it. I only survived because Duncan, the Commander of the Grey at that time, happened to be nearby. He came across my clan and persuaded the Keeper to let me accompany him to Ostagar or else I would die."

"You're a Warden?" Hawke asked.

"I am," Valythari replied. "The dear friend I mentioned, Alistair... he and I were the only survivors. Duncan and the rest of the Wardens all fell beside King Cailan, thanks to Loghain." A scowl crossed her face at the mention of the deceased traitor, though a kiss from Zevran quickly washed it away.

"Wait, Anders... you're a Warden too." Seren looked at the other mage, curious. "That's how you had those maps."

Anders smiled, this one almost tinged with bitterness. "Once a Warden, always a Warden. Valythari recruited me. After the Blight, though. I wasn't involved with any of that."

"Only the aftermath," Valythari agreed with a sigh. "It was difficult. I'd just received my vallaslin, just become an adult by our standards, only to have 'ma'sa'lath and my clan and my whole life torn away from me. But Alistair, Wynne, Leliana, Morrigan, Vhenan, they all helped me through."

"Loghain hired me to kill her," Zevran added with a laugh. "But she quickly gained the upper hand when I ambushed them and much to my surprise, she did not take my life in return. She spared me and in return I swore to help her in her mission. Months later she freed me from the Crows, and I have never been happier."

Valythari smiled up at him. "Vhenan and Alistair in particular helped me through so much... I couldn't have accomplished anything without them. The Blight would have consumed Ferelden and none of the other Grey Wardens would have known until it was too late."

"But it didn't, amor," Zevran reminded her. "Thanks to you."

The rest of the dots connected in a blur. The shock on Seren's face was evident, amusing all the others in the room. "You're a Fereldan warden who survived Ostagar, who fought the Blight... who ended it. Valythari, you're the Hero of Ferelden?"

She nodded, averting her gaze almost self-consciously. "Yes. Urthemiel fell to my sword at the top of Fort Drakon. The only warden to slay an Archdemon and live to tell about it."

"I heard you were in Amaranthine, rebuilding. What happened to that?" Hawke asked.

"Amaranthine is a story for another night," Anders interjected. He could read the exhaustion and reluctance on Valythari's face almost as easily as her lover could.

Hawke reluctantly sighed and moved to stand, her thoughts still in a whirl over what she had learned. Who would have thought the mysterious elf girl Isabela introduced her to was really the Hero of Ferelden?

"One request if I may, Hawke," Valythari added, her gaze flicking to the green eyed mage briefly. "I'd rather not be known in this city. Suffice it to say I left Ferelden to seek anonymity."

"That's why you hide your vallaslin?" Hawke asked.

"Yes, among other things. All I ask is that you keep the knowledge of my identity to yourself, at least for now. I'll tell others when I choose to."

Seren nodded. "Of course. I'm honored you would tell me. I won't breathe a word, I promise."

The elven warden smiled.


	2. Chapter 2

A few days later they met in Seren's library, Valythari, Zevran, and Anders. Hawke had tried to be patient, but she was desperately curious and wanted answers finally. Anders had never spoken of his past in Ferelden to her. All she knew was that he had escaped from Ferelden's Circle and become a Warden at some point, only to then leave the Wardens and end up in Kirkwall the host to a spirit of Justice.

"You have a brother in the Wardens, don't you Hawke?" Valythari questioned, turning her gaze to the mage from where she was seated beside her lover.

"I do," Hawke replied. "Carver. I haven't seen him in nearly three years. He doesn't write very often, they must keep him busy."

Valythari nodded, able to fill in the remaining blanks herself. Anders had told her of the ill-fated expedition to the Deep Roads, Carver contracting the taint, and the encounter with Stroud he'd tried to play off as chance that had saved the younger Hawke sibling's life. The healer was still paranoid, despite Valythari's repeated assurances that Alistair would not send wardens to track him down. "I can ask Alistair to send word of him," she offered. "He writes me regularly."

Seren smiled. "I would appreciate that. We don't get along very well, but... I miss him."

"You wanted to know about Amaranthine," Anders began after a brief silence. "It's a long story and one I'm not fond of telling, but you deserve to know. I trust you."

Hawke met his eyes, smiling reassuringly. He could trust her, they were on the same side.

"Anora granted Vigil's Keep and the Arling of Amaranthine to the Wardens after the Blight, so we could rebuild," Valythari said. Her expression was distant now; she was looking into the past and recounting, almost reliving memories. Zevran watched her carefully, ready to pull her back into the present at a moment's notice. "I arrived at the keep to find it under attack by darkspawn. Anders was within."

"Surrounded by dead darkspawn and templars, and I didn't kill the latter," the healer added pointedly. Seren couldn't help a laugh. That was the Anders she knew. "But I offered to help retake the keep. Later, more Templars came for me and Valythari defended me."

"I invoked the Right of Conscription. Anora allowed it and the Templars were forced to leave empty-handed," Valythari continued. "The Templar Order in Ferelden isn't fond of me or of the Wardens."

"Why not?" Hawke asked.

"Duncan conscripted Alistair out from under the Grand Cleric, right before he took his Templar vows," Valythari said, letting out a laugh. "Then I saved the Circle of Magi and refused to allow their annulment, then I ensured Anders' safety as best I could. Another of my companions during the Blight, Morrigan, was a Chasind apostate who saved my life on two occasions. Flemeth's daughter. They tried to track her down after the battle at Fort Drakon, but she vanished and I refused to help them. You see, killing an Archdemon is supposed to kill the Warden that slays it."

"Then how are you alive?" Hawke asked, always curious. Anders was curious too. Valythari had never spoken of that during their time at Vigil's Keep together.

"Morrigan came to me the night before the battle. She had a ritual that would save the life of the Warden who struck the killing blow. All I had to do was persuade Alistair to complete it," Valythari said. "The look on his face as I told him what it entailed... I'll never forget it. He didn't want to, but neither of us wanted to die, so he agreed. And so Morrigan left after the battle, carrying a child born of Grey Warden blood and holding the soul of Urthemiel."

Anders' eyes widened in shock. That was practically blood magic.

"I know, Anders," Valythari sighed, guessing his thoughts from his expression, "I know you don't approve, but it's a matter of how one uses it."

"Defending blood mages now?" the healer asked, disbelieving. That was something he had never expected, although Valythari had always kept her views mostly to herself. As Warden-Commander she had perfected a mask that had rarely faltered. He could count the number of times it had on one hand. Discovering what had happened to Velanna's clan. Discovering Seranni had become a ghoul. Having to make the decision to let Amaranthine burn. Sigrun's abrupt departure on her Calling. She faced the Fade and the Baroness without fear, she had not flinched when presiding over the court, or deciding Nathaniel's fate, or even when fighting their way through the Nest to the Mother. Oghren had even told stories, though Anders was sure he'd been exaggerating, about his travels with Valythari during the Blight. Her mask hadn't faltered even then, the dwarf said.

"No," Valythari responded, the ice in her voice shocking all but Zevran. "The majority of them are corrupted by their power. Remember that I fought Uldred and his minions, I've killed Tevinter magisters who had the nerve to use it on innocents. Corrupt blood mages need to be stopped. But it can be used for good. The Keeper used it to prolong my life until I could travel to Ostagar. Morrigan used it to save my life as the Archdemon tried to take me with it. Lethallan used it to keep the eluvian from harming anyone else like it did 'ma'sa'lath. You saw Seranni, Anders, you know what the taint does when it's left to run rampant. Would you wish that on anyone? No one deserves to go through what 'ma'sa'lath went through."

She had raised her voice until she was practically shouting. Anders went quiet, then finally nodded. He still vividly remembered Seranni, and as much as he hated to admit it... Valythari was right. If there was a way to prevent that from happening, could he really condemn it?

Zevran moved his fingers to his lover's cheek, stroking it gently until she calmed. "Amora, calm yourself," he murmured, Antivan flowing from his lips just as naturally as Common. "They don't know what you have seen."

Valythari averted her gaze and shifted so she was curled up in his lap, his fingers trailing comfortingly through her hair and across her skin. "I know," she whispered. Her Antivan was nowhere near perfect, but Zevran had long since taught her the language of the land of his birth. "What happened to 'ma'sa'lath... no one deserves that."

"I know, amor," Zevran reassured her. "And we will change that, I promise you."

As his friend and ex-commander curled up with her lover, Anders was struck with the reminder of just how young she was. She'd been eighteen when the Blight began, nineteen when she ended it. Even now she was barely 22. Back in Vigil's Keep she'd never spoken of her past, never made references to it at all except for whispered breaths of "'ma'sa'lath" to Velanna that he'd overheard. "Valythari," he murmured, drawing her attention back from Zevran, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to imply..."

"It's alright," she replied after a moment, her voice still soft. "But the taint took everything from me, more than I've told you. If lethallan's-- Merrill's blood magic can help make it so no one else loses what I have, I'll accept it. I trust her. She wouldn't use it to harm anyone."

"Who was with you when you found the mirror?" Seren asked, cautious. She didn't want to offend Valythari or set her off again.

Zevran squeezed her arm. Valythari remained silent for a while, so long that Anders had begun to think she wouldn't answer. "He was a dear friend," she finally murmured. "I'd rather not discuss it."

It was enough of a indication that she wanted the subject of conversation to change. When Hawke inquired, Valythari and Zevran told the tale of the Tevinter slavers plaguing Denerim's alienage that they had eradicated.

"He had the nerve," Zevran laughed, "To offer to sacrifice the remaining elves to perform a ritual for her so she would spare his life."

"I drove my dagger through his chest instead," Valythari added. "Then we freed the elves. Their elder had been captured. If we had been any later he would have been on his way to Tevinter. Loghain wouldn't have stopped. The Tevinters were funding his army with their profits, never mind that slavery is illegal. Despicable. I was glad when Alistair took his head."

"Perhaps it would have been better if he had waited until Anora was out of the room though," Zevran joked.

"Alistair took Loghain's head in front of the Queen?" Anders asked, his expression a mix of disbelief and amusement.

"And the rest of the Landsmeet," Valythari said with a shrug. "But he deserved it. He deserved worse. I wish we'd left his body for the darkspawn like he did to Duncan and the King."

"I should introduce you better to Fenris," Hawke remarked, not missing the pointed look from Anders. He knew she didn't want anything to do with the elf at the moment, not after their night together. It had been three weeks now and he hadn't reappeared except for a few times in the Hanged Man, leaving when Seren and Anders arrived. Their carefully built friendship had all but disintegrated, and though Hawke was acting like she had moved on he knew otherwise.

"Hm? Alright," Valythari said. She could sense there was something unspoken behind Hawke's words, though she didn't press. "That's the other elf, the one with white tattoos?"

"Yes," Anders cut in, answering the question since the reluctance on Hawke's face was as obvious as ever to him. "Though I wouldn't ask him about the markings right away. He stays in a mansion in Hightown, we can point it out unless you manage to catch him at the Hanged Man."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I forgot I never posted this part. Oops.

**Author's Note:**

> (en'an'sal'en - "blessings"; a formal greeting.
> 
> 'ma'sa'lath - "my one love", though Valythari is using it to mean "my first love"; this is what she calls Tamlen now
> 
> ma banal las halamshir var vhen - you do nothing to further our people)
> 
> Elvhen credit to FenxShiral/Project Elvhen, like usual.


End file.
